I haven't blogged in quite a while, partly because I've been lacking a bit of inspiration and because I'm not exactly sure what direction I want this little corner of the internet to go in, and partly because I've just lacked motivation, which is something I've felt in other parts of my life as well. Quite often this summer, with not being at university and living back home, I've been feeling like I'm just stagnating and I think a lot of that was down to not having any goals or not having anything I particularly wanted to achieve. I have had to deal with some problems *read: boy problems* which were definitely of my own making in many respects, and I've since realised that I can't rely on other people to make me happy and to assuage this feeling of unfulfillment.
I saw a quote from Buddha recently, I can't remember the specifics, but the idea of it was that everyone can learn something from their mistakes and bad experiences, rather than play the victim; that life is a great teacher. I've definitely had my fair share of rough times, and although I'd like to think I haven't played the victim (I am guilty of throwing the odd pity party now and then), I don't think I've made the best of it, or taken away the lessons that I should have - until now.
This has all stemmed from my new found love of the gym, something I never thought I would be passionate about - I never thought I would be one of those people who misses working out when they skip a session. Since becoming more serious about my work outs, I now know where I want to be in terms of fitness levels and appearance, and I know what to do in order to achieve it, and that feels awesome. I think the idea of putting hard work in, and getting visible, tangible results really appeals to me, which it is something to can actually apply to a lot of different things. But the reason why it was exercise that made me feel this sense of purpose comes down to one thing: self-love.
When people say things like that someone "loves themselves" it is usually said with negative connotations, but that shouldn't be the case. I am a big believer that loving yourself, and being happy in your own skin, and with the person you are is a big step towards being happy, plain and simple. Especially because my generation and younger generations face so many unrealistic expectations, on how to look, how to behave, how to feel - all of which are unattainable. Which is why i think it's important, especially when you're younger, to take a step back, be selfish, and just focus on yourself for a while, because you can afford to and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm going to the gym regularly and focusing on getting myself to a point where I'm happy with my body, not because I'm trying to impress anyone, or because I'm vain, but simply because I want to. And if going to the gym is not your cup of tea, that's totally fine as well, just do what you want to do and what makes you happy. Having a great support network of friends and family is so important and should definitely not be taken for granted, but often we feel pressure to please other people over ourselves so we don't disappoint them, but doesn't it feel worse when we disappoint ourselves? I know I have done many times. We are all human and we all make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn form them and to constantly try to grow and develop as a person, and to actually discover what kind of person you want to be. If you feel stuck in a rut, like I did and like everyone does from time to time, the only person that can get you out of it is yourself, so be that person - be yourself.
I think I'm going to wind this down before I ramble on too much, but congrats if you've made it this far - thanks for sticking with it. Feel free to share and comment, I'd really love to know what you guys think of this new kind of blog post. I think the overriding message of this is one of positivity so I'll leave you with the very wise words of Justin Bieber, love yourself.
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| here's a pic of me being selfish and taking time out on holiday recently |
Love you xx
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